White coat. Heels.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
