My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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