It's Friday. Sex?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
