i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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