Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
