im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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