If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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