i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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