Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
