I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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