Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
3 2 1 whiskey
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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