Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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