god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
