i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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