everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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