Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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