oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
