its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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