Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
