'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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