girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
