On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
