I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
