There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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