last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
