i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
