You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
