frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
