well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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