She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
