too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
