am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
