hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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