did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
why does every cop we meet know your name?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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