You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
