Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jerry, you need to find god
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
