His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
