im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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