So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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