My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
