I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
