i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
