we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
