Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
