Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
