Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
