you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
