awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
