I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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