So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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