this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
