Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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