She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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