Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
