i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
