I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize