trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
