i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
