She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
