talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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