I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
